It Wasn't Enough
by Siellation
Summary: Set after Megamix Panda. Shuichi returns from his trip. He reaches home and Yuki was nowhere in sight. He took the chance to grab his things and leave. Can Yuki stop his lover from leaving? (Former Pen Name: LycanPredilection)
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: It Wasn't Enough

**Summary:** Set after Megamix Panda. Shuichi returns from his trip. He reaches home and Yuki was nowhere in sight. He took the chance to grab his things and leave. Can Yuki stop his lover from leaving?

**A/N: More or less, I'll update twice a month, depending on the time I have. If time permits, I'll try to update once a week.**

* * *

**Shuichi**

**Bad Luck Tour**

**Hotel Zion; Room 1607**

He couldn't move. He couldn't take his eyes off the screen. As much as he wanted to turn the TV off, his body wouldn't budge. His mind kept telling him to grab the remote and turn off the television yet he couldn't; he couldn't take his eyes of his lover's body, face and expression. He kept screaming in his mind:

'_No! This is rape.'_

'_Yuki won't allow others to use him.'_

'_This is against his will.'_

Yet these thoughts were repelled as he saw Yuki's face drowning in pleasure as he was roughly taken by his brother and brother-in-law. He watched as his lover came multiple times and watched as his lover's spirit drift away. "Yuki… He couldn't to this to me right?" He repeated to himself. "Yuki loves me. He won't do this. This is fake," He kept saying this as if these were mantras that could wake him up from this nightmare. Yet somewhere deep inside him, a voice kept repeating,

'_Have you seen him drown in pleasure like this before? Have you seen these expressions of him? He never showed it, right? Yet on that tape, he was enjoying the pleasure he's receiving from his loved ones. You can't satisfy him. You can NEVER satisfy his lust. You're not enough…'_

"NO!" He screamed as he placed his hands on his ears to stop the voice. He gathered his strength to stand and plunged the television off. He called the reception area, informing them of his early check-out. After informing them, he called K to book him a flight to Japan after his concert that day.

"I booked a flight, yet how am I supposed to face him?" He asked while riding to the airport. His best friend, Hiro, was still confused as to why they were going home early. "I don't know what happened between you two but please settle this early. I can't have you staying at my place when Ayaka and I… Enjoy our time together," He laughed at his best friend's statement. "Don't worry. I won't disturb you. I'll stay in a hotel if I have to," He said while patting his best friend's shoulder.

As they reached the airport, Hiro called Ayaka to inform her of his early arrival in Japan. He could hear the laughter of his best friend and her girlfriend over the phone. '_If only I could talk to Yuki like that,' _He thought. But as the name of his lover appeared on his mind, the content of the tape flashed on his mind. No matter how much he tries to forget the video, the mere thought of his lover's name makes him remember. As the plane approached its landing, Shuichi finally decided to leave his lover for good.

—X—

**Yuki's Penthouse**

Shuichi stared at the door of his lover's apartment. He couldn't open the door. He was scared. Scared of what he might see if he opens the door. He gathered up his courage and opened the door. He waited, waited for someone to greet him. Something did greet him. _Silence._

He peeked through every door, looking for Yuki. Sighing as he found no signs of his lover, he examined the house. '_Nothing changed,' _He thought. He stood up, sighing. "I guess I must pack my things before Yuki arrives," He said to himself. He grabbed a large suitcase below their bed and neatly arranged his stuff and placed it inside the suitcase. When he finished packing, he grabbed the phone and dialed the nearest hotel.

"_You have reached the reception area of Hotel Diamond. If you want to request…"_

Getting used to these instructions, he booked a room. He grabbed his suitcase. Before opening the door, he examined the room once more and memories flooded in. Happy memories, sad memories—memories that needs to be forgotten. He smiled to himself. He faced the door once again. This will be the last time he would step into this place. He turned the knob. The door he slowly opened came to a halt when he saw the person he least wanted to see.

"Yuki…"

**TBC**

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This may have two to three chapters only. I'm still debating whether to break them up for good or not. Please review! Though it's short, I promise that the next chapter/s will be longer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** It Wasn't Enough

**Summary:** Set after Megamix Panda. Shuichi returns from his trip. He reaches home and Yuki was nowhere in sight. He took the chance to grab his things and leave. Can Yuki stop his lover from leaving?

**A/N: More or less, I'll update twice a month, depending on the time I have. If time permits, I'll try to update once a week.**

* * *

**Previously:**

Getting used to these instructions, he booked a room. He grabbed his suitcase. Before opening the door, he examined the room once more and memories flooded in. Happy memories, sad memories—memories that needs to be forgotten. He smiled to himself. He faced the door once again. This will be the last time he would step into this place. He turned the knob. The door he slowly opened came to a halt when he saw the person he least wanted to see.

"Yuki…"

* * *

Shuichi sat, unable to move. He didn't want to see Yuki.

"Shuichi? What wrong? When did you arrive? Why do you have a big luggage with you?" Yuki asked, confused.

Shuichi stood and ignored Yuki. He passed by him, only to be grabbed and placed into a hug. "Leaving again? You just returned from your tour," Yuki said. "I missed you."

Shuichi pushed Yuki. "Missed me?" He hissed. He glared at Yuki, the content of the video playing on his mind. "Really? Did you really miss me?" Yuki stared at him, confused. "What are you talking about?"

Shuichi threw the tape on Yuki. "Watch this and think again if you really missed me." With that, Shuichi turned and left. Knowing nothing would happen if he followed his lover; Yuki entered the apartment and watched the video.

His eyes widened. He remembered that event. He missed his brat too much and he wanted to relieve his sexual desires. He decided to call Tohma and Tatsuha and asked for help. He didn't expect Tohma to send a video to Shuichi. He rushed to the phone. _He could be staying at Hiro's house. _He dialed the number.

"_Hello?"_

"Is Shuichi there?"

_"No. Why? Did you guys fight again?"_

He hung the phone when he learned Shuichi didn't stay at Hiro's place. Remembering the scene before he entered the apartment, he ran to his bedroom and opened the cabinet. _Gone. Shuichi's things were gone. _He started to panic. He couldn't bear the thought of Shuichi leaving him. He picked his phone and called Shuichi.

"…"

"Shu, I'm sorry,"

"…"

"Shu, please talk to me."

"…"

"I know what I did was wrong. Please hear me out."

"…_What's there to explain? You looked like you were having fun._"

Yuki shivered at the coldness of Shuichi's voice on the other line. "Just hear me out. Where are you?"

"…"

"Shu…"

"Diamond. Hotel Diamond. Room 1607." Shuichi said before he hung the phone.

Yuki grabbed his coat and keys and headed to the parking lot. He drove as fast as he can. When he reached Shuichi's room, he knocked. The door opened. His eyes widened. Shuichi was a mess. His hair and clothes were disheveled, his face was pale and smeared with tears and his eyes were red from crying. He hugged Shuichi without thinking. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

Shuichi pushed him. "Come in," He said. Yuki followed him.

"Coffee, tea or beer?" Shuichi asked.

"I don't want any of those. Come here."

Hesitating, Shuichi walked slowly towards him. He grabbed him by the arm. He watched as Shuichi flinch in pain. He pulled the sleeves of Shuichi's sweater and saw raw cuts. He looked at Shuichi. Pain shot through his chest. He caused his lover too much pain. With tears threatening to fall from his eyes, he hugged his brat. "I'm sorry, Shu. I cause you so much pain. I didn't expect Tohma to do this."

Shuichi looked at him, his eyes filled with emptiness. "You didn't _expect_? So you plan on hiding this to me?"

Yuki looked at him. "No! I—." Yuki took a deep breath. He doesn't want Shuichi to know. He planned to sever his 'sexual' ties with Tohma and Tatsuha during Shuichi's tour. That time was supposed to be their last.

"I called them to relieve my sexual tension," Yuki braced himself for a slap on the face.

"How many times?"

"Huh?" Yuki asked, confused.

"How many times did you call them to help you?"

"I—I don't know. It started when my past started hunting me again, my past where I was being toyed by Kitazawa, which gave me unnecessary sexual desires. When you go out for tours, I would call them up."

"…" Even though it wasn't shown on his face, every word that came out of Yuki's mouth pained him. "So I'm just like Tohma and Tatsuha? I'm just a toy for you to relieve you frustration?"

"No! You're different. I love you."

"Really now. You know, I find it quite hard to believe."

"I know but please forgive me. I won't do it again."

Standing, Shuichi walked towards his bed. "Can I really trust you? If Tohma didn't send me that video, I wouldn't know. I would be there living with you, believing your lies that you love me, that I'm the only one." Shuichi said, his voice trembling.

"My love for you isn't a lie! You changed me. You're important to me. You're the only one whom I allowed to enter my life! I'd pick you over anything!"

Shuichi turned to face Yuki. "Then severe your ties with them right now. Then maybe I'll believe you."

Yuki immediately grabbed his phone. He called up Tohma first.

"_Eiri?"_

"Tohma, let's not see each other anymore."

"_Eh?"_

"I don't want to hurt Shuichi anymore. I love him enough to let you guys go."

"…"

"Tohma?"

"_I understand. From the start, I knew you just used us to relieve your frustration when Shindou-san is not around. Well then. Bye,"_

After calling Tohma, he called Tatsuha. He said the same and Tatsuha understood what Yuki wants to do. After making the phone call, he turned to Shuichi but to his surprise, his brat collapsed on the bed. He approached Shuichi. His body was burning up. He carried Shuichi down to the parking lot. He drove as fast as he can to the hospital. When he reached the hospital, he carried Shuichi towards the emergency room. From there, Shuichi was placed on a bed. The doctor checked his body for any injuries and saw the cuts on his arm. The doctor looked at Yuki. "Good evening. I'm Doctor Koujiro. Are you a family member of Shindou-san?"

"No. I'm his lover."

"Oh. He collapsed because of physical exhaustion, stress and high fever. He needs at least three days to rest."

Yuki nodded at every sentence Koujiro said.

"Now may I ask: where did his cuts come from? They were fresh so I believe it was cut today, perhaps within the span of three to four hours ago?"

"We—we kind of had a fight…" Yuki said uncomfortably.

"I would advise you to now agitate him or give him reason to hurt him. His cuts were quite deep. If they were deeper, it could've ended his life."

Yuki froze at every word Koujiro said. Seeing that Yuki tensed up, Koujiro patted Yuki's shoulder. "Don't worry. He's safe. He'd be up and about after a few days of rest. You can take him home now and here." Koujiro gave a medical certificate to Yuki in which medicine were written for Shuichi. "That's for his fever. Now if you'll excuse me. I have other patients to attend. You can take him home now."

When Koujiro left, Yuki carried Shuichi and went home. When Shuichi woke up, he found himself in a familiar room. He felt refreshed after sleeping so long. Ever since he watched the video, he had a hard time sleeping. He turned to his side and was surprised to see Yuki sleeping beside him. He brushed his hand on Yuki's cheek. "You're really mine now, right?" He said with a small smile on his face.

Yuki groaned as he felt warm hands on his cheek. He opened his eyes to see Shuichi smiling at him. He cupped Shuichi's cheek and placed a light peck on his lips. "I'm not dreaming, am I?" He whispered. He heard a soft chuckle from Shuichi. "No. You aren't." Yuki smiled at him. He stood up but Shuichi grabbed his hand. "Where are you going?" Shuichi asked.

Yuki smiled and kissed him on the forehead. "You stay here. I'm going to make breakfast. You're not allowed to go out of bed, okay?" Shuichi stared at him and nodded. He was surprised at the way Yuki acted.

For a whole week, Shuichi was served and loved by Yuki. After that week, he had to work. He was having second thoughts on appearing because he might pass by Tohma and get scolded by K for skipping work for a week. But work is work. He entered NG Studios and went straight to the elevator. Before the elevators closed, somebody shouted. "WAIT!" A hand appeared in the middle of the doors. Shuichi's eyes widened. The person who entered was one of the people he doesn't want to see.

"Oh. Shu-chan. When did you return?" Tatsuha asked.

"L—Last week." It was hard for him to talk to Tatsuha after knowing what he does with Yuki.

The elevator doors opened three floors before Shuichi's destination. The person who entered was also one of the people he wanted to avoid.

"Shindou-san. Tatsuha." Tohma greeted. There was a big tension in the elevator. Tohma stopped the elevator a floor before Shuichi's. "Since Tatsuha is here, would you mid telling us what you felt when you watched the video?" Tohma asked.

"Eh? You really showed Shu-chan the video?" Tatsuha asked, surprised.

"I don't have the obligation to tell you."

"True, but don't you know? The reason Eiri is like that because at a young age, Kitazawa marked himself on him." Tohma said.

"Marked?" Shuichi asked, confused.

"Kitazawa started touching Eiri when he was still a kid." Tohma explained.

"Whenever he remembers that, his sexual desires overcome him. That's why he calls us when you're not around, Shu-chan." Tatsuha added.

"Maybe the reason Eiri went out with you is because you're convenient for him." Tohma said.

"No. That's not true. He loves me." Shuichi defended.

"Really? Are you sure you're the one on his mind when the two of you fuck? We let aniki use us even if he sees us as Kitazawa." Tatsuha said.

Before Shuichi could answer, Tohma opened the doors. "Don't you have work to do?" He said as they arrived at the recording station. Shuichi immediately went out of the elevator.

"Why did we say that? Aniki really does love Shu-chan," Tatsuha said as he looked at Shuichi's back.

"Saa. I don't want to see Shindou-san hurt. I don't want him to feel the pain we felt when we sleep with Eiri. Eiri might confuse Shuichi with Kitazawa and it would break Shuichi."

"Will he really confuse Shuichi with him?"

"Maybe. That bastard destroyed Eiri's life as he laid his hands on him. Even if Eiri does love Shuichi, Kitazawa's actions would haunt him forever."

"Yeah. You're right."

**OWARI**

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Please don't hit me. I know the ending is crappy. I might write a sequel if a plot comes to mind. :D Please review!


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